cabes: (Default)
adam parrish 。 ([personal profile] cabes) wrote in [community profile] arizelly2016-03-15 08:34 pm

( adam & gansey )

PLACEHOLDER.
topsiders: (i've got the answer.)

[personal profile] topsiders 2016-03-16 02:13 am (UTC)(link)
[ Gansey has his eyes closed but like most nights, he doesn't sleep.

He can't.

The sound of some modern-day composer's rendition of Mozart or Bach or Haydn buzzes through tiny earbuds, meant to drown out Monmouth, Gansey's thoughts, and the heavy feeling in his chest.

He hates fighting with his friends, hates it more than anything because each fight feels like a permanent scar added to a wall of fractures that will, inevitably, leave him with a gaping hole and no one left to come home to. In the beginning, Gansey didn't think about that. He didn't think about what enrolling into Aglionby would entail and how these short few months have probably been the most meaningful in his entire life. He'd left Wales and Peru without a word. He thought he could do it again.

And now -

Now, more than ever, he doesn't think it's possible.

This is home now. It's home, because -

Gansey.

He hears his name being called, a low reverberation beneath the symphony of violins and soft piano. A hand on his shoulder, warm, gentle, almost hesitant - but with intention, too.

Immediately he shifts, turning to face his disturber if only to confirm his identity. He could differentiate Adam's touch from Ronan's or Noah's any day at any time. Each one of them, they're so particular from each other, just one part to the whole that makes up Richard Gansey III. But Adam's always been just a little something more, sometimes a mystery, sometimes an intrigue, sometimes the very thing Gansey wants more than anything to be. ]


Hey.

[ He pulls the little bits of plastic from his ears, the music immediately fading - only to be replaced by the sound of their breaths and their hearts beating.

It's very real. ]
topsiders: (try to pretend that i don't hear it.)

[personal profile] topsiders 2016-03-16 02:44 am (UTC)(link)
Of course.

[ Gansey straightens to sit up, also ever polite, feeling a bit stupid with his covers in disarray. He'd been considering, after the next song or two, getting up anyway. Working on his model of Henrietta, maybe. There are a few storefronts along Cascade Avenue that he'd been thinking of replicating.

He isn't thinking of that now, however. All he can think of is how careful he wants to be, to be sure that the words that come out of his mouth don't hurt Adam, or push him away. He can't do this anymore. He doesn't want to.

He shifts his position, allowing him to face Adam properly, almost as though he's offering himself up to him; his defences are down and he's watching the other boy expectantly - at least as best as he can, considering how dark it is in the room. He still has his contacts in but they're not much help.

He won't speak if he doesn't have to. ]
topsiders: (prizes honesty above nearly most.)

[personal profile] topsiders 2016-03-17 04:52 am (UTC)(link)
[ Gansey leans in towards Adam, maybe a little more than he thinks he rightfully should. But sitting so far from each other over the mattress just seems stranger somehow, and if Ronan's in then their whisperings out here might cause him to come out of his room and investigate the situation.

Not that Gansey's ashamed or anything but he'd much rather pretend that the world consists only of the two of them right now. It's selfish and silly but it's true. ]


You know I never could.

[ Maybe 'never' is being generous, but he gets less sleep than is probably considered healthy, like he's testing the limits of his second life or the power of Glendower, by sleeping so little and doing so much. It's thoughts of Glendower and the quest, his friends, his life here, everything that keep him up. It's like his brain simply won't shut off. ]

And you?

[ He knows that Noah's room and being here in Monmouth, perhaps permanently, probably feels different to Adam, making it something he has to adjust to before he can feel ... comfortable enough to sleep here. Safe, even.

He wishes he knew a way to make Adam feel safe. ]
topsiders: (he preferred french.)

[personal profile] topsiders 2016-03-18 03:24 am (UTC)(link)
Ah.

[ Gansey, on the other hand, keeps his eyes on Adam. As best as he can, anyway, what with the dark, but he doesn't avert his gaze from the other boy. Not once. Unlike Adam, he's had his eyes on him the entire time they began to move things over to the Warehouse. He'd steal occasional glances in Adam's direction while they were in the Pig. He watched Adam drag milk-crates of his belongings into Noah's room. He didn't do it to try and meet Adam's eyes, but to - observe him. Watch him. Understand him. ]

Then - how? How did you mean it?

[ Even now, Gansey doesn't say it like an accusation or an argument. He wants to know. Again, he wants to understand. He wants to see the world through Adam's eyes so that, maybe, they could stop fighting. ]
topsiders: (superficially competent.)

[personal profile] topsiders 2016-03-18 04:32 am (UTC)(link)
[ That's not the way I want to be yours.

Gansey can feel the words echoing in his ears, ringing all the way down to his toes and filling him with something a little like hope and a little like longing, mingled together. He holds his breath without realizing he's doing it, and then he presses his mouth together into a thin line.

He doesn't know what to say. He could argue with Adam until he's blue in the face that that's never been the way he's ever meant to be a part of Adam's life. He'd never done any of those things because he feels like doing so will make Adam become his in a way that the Pig is his, or this warehouse is his. He did them because -

Because somewhere in his heart, he loves him. And it hurts him to see Adam suffer when there's a way Gansey can help. It's a way he thinks he can help, limited in so many other ways as he is.

Gansey lets his lips come loose, a breath issuing out like a low sigh. It comes out a little shaky, almost afraid. ]


Then - [ he starts, voice almost a whisper. ] - how?
topsiders: (or can it be over.)

[personal profile] topsiders 2016-03-18 05:17 am (UTC)(link)
[ Gansey's startled for a moment, wanting this so bad but not expecting it, that he tenses against Adam's mouth until his brain catches up with the act and he can (and does) visibly relax.

Adam's wrong, though. Gansey's not as good with words - certainly not when it counted. A lot of the time his words come out wrong or irrevocably condescending, like he means one thing and it comes out differently. Soft intentions sharpening into blades that could - and do - hurt. His words are unerring weapons, he'd said to Blue once. And much of the time he has no idea how to disarm them. It's why he's so quiet tonight. It's why he'd left Adam to his devices after they'd managed to pack up Adam's things and moved them into Monmouth.

It's why Gansey doesn't say anything now when Adam curses against his mouth. He just tilts his head back upwards, leans in, and kisses Adam this time. It isn't gentle; it isn't chaste. His mouth crushes into the other boy's with a vigor he hopes will express how he feels without having to say it aloud.

Gansey doesn't want to hurt him. He certainly doesn't want to own him.

Doesn't Adam know that he already owns Gansey in the ways it counts? ]
topsiders: (give more than enough ground.)

[personal profile] topsiders 2016-03-18 05:57 am (UTC)(link)
[ Gansey makes a sound against Adam's mouth, something between a moan and a whimper, lips parting to let Adam taste him, to breathe this all in. There's very little hesitation in the way he follows Adam's non-verbal directions, a nudge here, a tug there, and eventually he finds himself lying down again amongst the crumpled bedsheets. Adam's weight, lithe and lean and strong, hovers over him.

He swallows.

Ronan could open the door to his room right now, or Noah could suddenly appear through the walls of any part of this Warehouse, and they would see Gansey and Adam in the middle of the room, on his bed, in such a compromising position.

Gansey doesn't care. His everything aches for Adam right now. One kiss from the other boy and suddenly he's starved for it, starved for more. He yearns for it. For him.

His hands sweep along Adam's sides but he's giving the other boy control. Right now, in such a way, Gansey wants to be controlled.

He wants Adam so much, it's an ache. ]
topsiders: (never quite learning why.)

[personal profile] topsiders 2016-03-19 04:38 am (UTC)(link)
[ Adam's groan echoes over Gansey's skin, makes his brain buzz happily, dulling any remaining thoughts and fears and anxieties. It doesn't matter that he's literally never done any of this before; it doesn't matter that they're at risk to exposure from the rest of their friends at any given moment. Gansey finds himself so lost in the warmth of Adam, the touch of skin and lips and fingers trailing, and the heaviness of Adam's weight over him.

Clothing is starting to feel like a burden. Gansey's hands find the hem of Adam's worn out t-shirt, lifting it to run fingers tentatively up the length of his torso, roaming towards his back, pulling him down against him while their mouths meet again and again. His breathing becomes erratic with his wants, and everything else pulses like a song, calling for the other boy. ]


Adam.

[ He breathes the other boy's name out into an exhale against his skin like a mantra before his lips find skin again - his mouth, his jaw, his nose, his neck. It's strangely gentle, almost romantic. ]

Adam.
topsiders: (the turning tides are parting for you.)

[personal profile] topsiders 2016-03-19 05:44 am (UTC)(link)
[ Jesus Christ.

Gansey can feel Adam hardening against him, his need echoing his own. Gansey's mouth presses up against the skin of Adam's neck, right by his appropriately-named Adam's apple, leaving a slightly wet mark there, while his hands find another direction to explore, fumbling with the worn elastic of Adam's sweatpants.

Gansey shifts against Adam before one hand slides past the fabric, greeted by heat and Adam's desire, now a hard and tangible thing in his grip. ]


Tell me what you want me to do.

[ He whispers into Adam's ear, his words almost a plea.

What does Adam want, and how can Gansey give it to him? ]
topsiders: (longed for it.)

[personal profile] topsiders 2016-03-19 06:47 am (UTC)(link)
[ The Adam now is such a different Adam from just hours ago, so full of anger and resentment and guilt, leaving Gansey feeling like he'd really fucked things up in a way that he might never be able to repair. It'd hurt like something burrowing itself into his chest and opening a hole from the inside, growing bigger with each horrible thing he and Adam said to each other.

Now, in the quiet of the middle of the night, cloaked in darkness and the slightest sliver of the moon outside of Monmouth's gigantic windows punched into the brickwork, they whisper promises to each other, laced with the taste of salt and skin.

Gansey captures Adam's mouth against his again while he strokes a thumb over the other boy's hardened length.

I'm here, he says. I'm here. It's me. Gansey. Just Gansey.

He kisses him fervently, pouring his whole heart into it - the fears, the anxieties, the excitement, the fascination with magic and old kings, with books, with all of the silly jokes they share, with hidden meanings behind seemingly casual fistbumps, with love.

Know me, he thinks. This is me.

He pulls his hand out from beneath the fabric, shifting in order to pull them both back up. Gansey crouches over the crumpled bed sheets on his knees, hands going back to the elastic of Adam's pants. He wants them off. ]


Let me show you.
topsiders: (follow it to your king.)

[personal profile] topsiders 2016-03-21 09:24 pm (UTC)(link)
[ For one brief moment, Gansey simply stays where he is, slightly in awe of Adam, partially in disbelief that this is really happening. He sees Adam, exposed and vulnerable and very ready, and Gansey's mouth goes a little dry. He's so beautiful, there's a slight ache in his chest somewhere. But he's here and he wants Gansey as much as Gansey wants him.

Slowly and with some care, Gansey crawls forward until he can reach out and touch him. He drags his fingers down the length of the other boy's torso, leaning in so his mouth can follow after, leaving a trail of kisses until he reaches the length of Adam, hard and throbbing. He's never done anything like this before but that kind of inexperience has never stopped him before.

He presses his lips against the crown, tongue flicking across while his fingers wrap gently around Adam's length. ]
topsiders: (follow it to your king.)

[personal profile] topsiders 2016-03-21 04:17 am (UTC)(link)
Not soon enough.

End of the week.
topsiders: (longed for it.)

yessss

[personal profile] topsiders 2016-03-21 04:32 am (UTC)(link)
[ Strangely - or not so strangely, Gansey's message pops up almost immediately. ]

These things are always dreadful

Save me

I wish you were here
topsiders: (matchy matchy.)

[personal profile] topsiders 2016-03-21 04:37 am (UTC)(link)
It's getting harder to do that

[ If he's gonna be honest. WHICH APPARENTLY is a thing he's doing now. Well. ]

How was work?
topsiders: (keep to your story.)

[personal profile] topsiders 2016-03-21 04:49 am (UTC)(link)
[ Speaking of sweat ... oh, boy. Lets not imagine what Adam after work looks like when you're surrounded by polite company. ]

Haha the girls are fine but

I'd much rather be back in Henrietta right now
topsiders: (he preferred french.)

[personal profile] topsiders 2016-03-21 04:58 am (UTC)(link)
[ Oh. Oh.

Adam how dare you. ]


That aspect is a very real problem yes
topsiders: (sure of his path.)

[personal profile] topsiders 2016-03-21 05:07 am (UTC)(link)
[ Jesus.

Gansey has to politely nod and smile at his parents' guests, but he blinks at his phone every couple of seconds, before finally responding: ]


Accidentally on purpose maybe

Would you whisk me away too?
topsiders: (sure of his path.)

ITS OKAY DONT WORRY ABOUT IT my phone never showed me either

[personal profile] topsiders 2016-03-21 02:32 pm (UTC)(link)
[ It's torture, that's what it is.

Deep breaths, Gansey. Smile. Nod. All right. To the untouched salads table -- ]


I know my way around this place

I think I could find the right closets

What else might you do to me?
topsiders: (i'm being self-pitying. ignore me.)

[personal profile] topsiders 2016-03-21 08:48 pm (UTC)(link)
[ It's starting to feel a bit hot in here, Gansey thinks distantly. Someone, one of his mother's supporters, is approaching him.

Quickly: ]


Not nervous

Excited. Very excited. I'd want your hands all over me. Your fingers gripping me. Your mouth.

I wouldn't want you to stop


[ Oh, why hello Dick, my haven't you grown into quite the handsome young man. His mother's guest smiles at him.

Gansey finds he has to fight twice as hard to convince her of his own polite smile.

Damn you, Adamn Parrish. ]
topsiders: (keep to your story.)

[personal profile] topsiders 2016-03-22 04:48 am (UTC)(link)
Well that's just cruel

I wouldn't say anything though


[ He doesn't think, if the situation were real (and Jesus, why isn't this real?), he'd be able to say anything. Moaning would definitely happen but there would be no words.

He's already feeling a little overwarm in his suit. ]


I would just reach down over the front of your trousers

Grab you there, gently and firmly
topsiders: (never to be reversed.)

[personal profile] topsiders 2016-03-22 03:00 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Jesus Christ.

Adam how did you get so good at this? Gansey quickly hides his phone away while he excuses himself from far-too-polite conversation with his mother's guest and makes a bee-line (heh) for the ... washrooms? His room? A room away from people? ]


I'd ask you

No

I'd beg you for more

I think then you'd get a moan from me because I couldn't help it anymore

I'd bite into your shoulder to muffle the sound

What else would you do to me?